A couple of people at work have commented that I make balancing work and family look so easy, like I am fleeting seamlessly between one and the other without ever dropping a ball (as least not one that’s been noticed anyway).
Well, that is very nice and thank you for making that observation. I try to do my best, but I would though like to respond by mentioning these three points.
Firstly, what you see is just an illusion which I admittedly try to put up when I walk out the door. Sometimes anyway. There are days when I feel exhausted even before I step into the office and I would have had two cups of strong coffees before 9 am. And there are definitely days when I come home at night and I would be too tired to even pour myself that glass of wine which I so deserve. There are also days when I would only do the minimum at work just so that I would not drop a ball. However given that I deal with both internal and external stakeholders on a daily basis I do place value in looking professional and giving people the confidence that they can work with me. And through my many years of experience being a woman I conclude that there is nothing that good foundation, lipstick and a cup of coffee can’t fix on any given morning.
Secondly, I try to give myself a break and not be affected by little things around the house; which I think has made me a calmer person. Initially I would let a lot of things get under my skin, like dog bringing sand into the house, plates piling high in the basin and kids throwing toys everywhere. It drove me nuts. After several episodes of just losing “it” and then collapsing into a crying mess (which my poor husband had to bear the brunt of) I convinced myself that these are things which I can’t just control and since I do not really want to be vacuuming the house five times in a day, I decided to change my own outlook instead. It is ok for us to leave a few dishes to be done in the evening after we come home; it is also ok to only vaccum once in the morning and another time before you go to sleep since the dog will be coming in and out all throughout the day anyway, and if the kids’ room looks too messy, just close the door beind you (ps. if you are a bit of a control freak like me do read this article on Kidspot, it is rather entertaining).
And finally and most importantly, you know how they say you need a village to raise a kid? Yes, that is so true and I have a wonderful village whom I rely on day-in and day-out to look after our kids and the occasional home issues when husband and I are at work. Our village is also big, comprising of both my own family and my in-laws who lovingly, diligently and unconditionally take care of our kids when they are not at daycare. It is not without challenges though, these kids who are raised by dual (and even triple households) as values are being taught from all directions (try telling a kid that they can’t have something which Grandma has already promised earlier on) and your No. #1 position in their hearts gets consistently challenged, but at the end of the day it gives us reassurance and a peace of mind when the kids are not with us which means that we can focus our attention on other things like work and not get distracted. It also allows us kids to see that there are different ways to living and hopefully give them a wider perspective to life.
So yes, we are who we are and we can become who we want to become because of the circumstances and people surrounding us (with a bit of change in attitude and mentality and a lot of tolerance). And yes, we are lucky but we are also grateful and we do not let ourselves nor our kids forget that.
Happy Sunday everyone.
PS. Lastly, I have to share this funny post which a friend put up on her Facebook which I can relate so well with.
PPS. My dear readers, I am asking for a favour. If you know of other women (or men) who would enjoy a weekly light read or maybe benefit from the experience of a fellow mom can you please share my link with them? There is nothing more encouraging for someone who writes to know that people are reading 🙂 With thanks and lots of love.