I have a few confessions to make:
- I bribe my kids at dinner time with the tablet.
- I let my daughter stay up with us most nights of the week.
- Sometimes I let the TV help babysit while I work (or write) at home.
- When we go out I do not always make sure that my kids’ clothes match their shoes.
- I take them to McDonalds once a week where they can have chips and soft serves and play in the playground.
Yea I know, pretty bad right?
Or is it relatable?
We are living at a point in time and place where it is tough to be a parent. It is not because our kids are different now, but it is because of the expectations that are being placed on parents.
You get the TV, internet, magazines and other mothers (even non-mothers) telling you what to feed your kids, what time to put them to bed (and how), what activities to do outside of school hours and what not to let them do. Then when people do share some insight with others about their family lives on Instagram, like giving cinnamon scrolls to your kids for breakfast, you get the judgmental ones who would react as if you have just let a kid starve for days.
We may not all be perfect parents but we all have our own ways of showing love to our children. I am not saying that mine is right or better, but it reflects what is important to us and works in our situation. In our family with young kids, my number one priority now is safety and then fostering a balanced and positive environment for them to grow up in. I also want them to spend lots of time with both my and Will’s families as I want them to understand family values and also get a strong and proud sense of their cultural roots.
Although my craft skills are far from perfect, I attempted to make a Grug outfit for my daughter on her very first book day at daycare (which someone mistook as a doggy outfit). I don’t spend hours researching and making healthy meals for the kids, but I try to make sure they get fruits and vegetables in their daily diets. I want them to understand that it is not about being perfect, but it is about trying. And when things do not work out, it is ok to be able to laugh at yourself (even if I have to make a fool of myself trying to make this point).
I take time to look after myself because I believe my own mental state is the foundation for me to able to care well for my children. Will and I also time to work on our relationship because we believe that if we can demonstrate our love to each other in front of our children, that is how they will learn to love.
So although I am not doing all the things deemed necessary to be the model mother, I feel comfortable we are on the right track. Of course all this might change one day if our kids grow up to be obese adults who spend all their time watching TV into the wee hours of the mornings, but for now I think we are ok.
Do you have a bad mom confession to share?